Starting the conversation
Rather than asking directly, “Are you a carer?”, we can take a gentler approach by exploring who helps the patient at home or what kind of support family and friends might be providing. This helps open the door to support without imposing a label.
Click on the icons below to see some ways we can begin the conversation about caring
Asking the patient:
“Does anybody support you at home?”
Asking the patient and/ or their carer:
Would you/ they find things more difficult without their/ your support?
Asking the patient:
“Would you like … to be involved in decisions about your health and care?”
Asking the carer/
potential carer:
“Are you helping your mum with… washing, meals…?”
Asking the carer/
potential carer:
“If you are helping your …There is support and information available to you …”
There are many reasons why someone might not identify as a carer for a loved one, or describe themselves that way if asked directly. This hesitation can stem from a caring role that has gradually evolved over time, a sense of familial duty — “she’s my daughter, of course I help” — or cultural expectations around caregiving. For some, the term “carer” may feel too clinical of a way to describe their relationship to their loved-one.
Additionally, people may be reluctant to seek support, or face barriers such as language differences or unfamiliarity with technology that make accessing services more difficult. Even if someone doesn’t initially recognise or label their role as “caring,” they are still entitled to support. Often, once people understand that being identified as a carer can lead to practical benefits — like greater recognition from healthcare professionals — they may feel more comfortable with the term, without feeling it diminishes the closeness of their relationship.